{"id":99,"date":"2026-05-07T19:21:29","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T23:21:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/?p=99"},"modified":"2026-05-07T19:21:29","modified_gmt":"2026-05-07T23:21:29","slug":"woodpecker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/2026\/05\/07\/woodpecker\/","title":{"rendered":"Woodpecker"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-soundcloud wp-block-embed-soundcloud\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Woodpecker by Lobster Optimus Ltd\" width=\"640\" height=\"400\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?visual=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F2251576199&#038;show_artwork=true&#038;maxheight=960&#038;maxwidth=640\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lyrics by John Lister<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jane was watching her T.V., at home with nothing to do<br>Avoiding the company of people, a pet, my yes that would do<br>She hopped into her Hyundai, driving to the nearest pet shop<br>Should she get a Chihuahua, or a poodle with hair neatly cropped<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The clerks name was Fayeed, his breath smelled of stale cigarettes<br>Unmannered and unshaven, he also had one wooden leg.<br>He said, &#8220;I&#8217;ve got something to show you, out here in the back.&#8221;<br>&#8221; I swear I woke up with it this morning, I can tell it&#8217;s something you lack.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[Chorus]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was a woodpecker, woodpecker; freed from its cage<br>She saw his wood pecker, wood pecker; upright and enraged<br>I want that woodpecker woodpecker, I heard her cry<br>&#8220;You like my woodpecker woodpecker come on give it a try&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A fish is not very loving and reptiles appear to be cold<br>Dogs and cats are lovely, but a woodpecker drills you a hole<br>The sounds that you will be hearing, from a woodpecker tapping real quick<br>Will never be heard from a husband, or anyone named Harry or Dick<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">[Chorus]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It was a woodpecker, woodpecker;look at him go<br>Oh yes, his woodpecker, woodpecker, she&#8217;ll never let go<br>I want that woodpecker, woodpecker; I heard her moan<br>Oh my pet woodpecker, woodpecker; Can I take him home<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lyrics by John Lister Jane was watching her T.V., at home with nothing to doAvoiding [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":100,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions\/100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}