{"id":89,"date":"2026-05-07T19:07:37","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T23:07:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/?p=89"},"modified":"2026-05-07T19:07:37","modified_gmt":"2026-05-07T23:07:37","slug":"three-blind-dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/2026\/05\/07\/three-blind-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"Three Blind Dates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-soundcloud wp-block-embed-soundcloud\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Three Blind Dates by Lobster Optimus Ltd\" width=\"640\" height=\"400\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?visual=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F2251576184&#038;show_artwork=true&#038;maxheight=960&#038;maxwidth=640\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Lyrics by John Lister<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My best friend set me up on my very first blind date and he knew I didn&#8217;t want to go<br>I walked up to her down rapped upon it three times as she pryed it open very slow<br>She was wearing nothing but some TV rabbit ears<br>I was thinking to myself that this seemed rather queer<br>I spun around quickly to run down her back stairs when she hit me in the noggin with an open beer<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please understand this is not what I planned<br>I need to leave cuz this blind date ain&#8217;t grand<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A good friend set me upon a double date, stuck inside his car nowhere to flee<br>Every beer I drank, the girl got uglier, singing Janis Joplin horribly<br>Naver made an insult I kept my mouth shut tight, I sat there staring into space<br>It was not that easy being silently polite when i couldn&#8217;t look into her face<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please understand this is not what I planned<br>I told my friend that his blind dates were banned<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My very last blind date, many years ago met me at her door with a nasty cold<br>She didn&#8217;t stand me up but left me waiting there outside in at least ten inches of wet snow<br>Deep within the blizzard an alarm inside my head went off and I could not ignore<br>You couldn&#8217;t see my footprints that I left long ago when i was still standing at her door<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please understand this is not what I planned<br>I&#8217;d rather be alone than be holding your hand<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lyrics by John Lister My best friend set me up on my very first blind [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":90,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions\/90"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}