{"id":79,"date":"2026-05-07T18:48:52","date_gmt":"2026-05-07T22:48:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/?p=79"},"modified":"2026-05-07T18:48:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-07T22:48:52","slug":"dr-optimus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/2026\/05\/07\/dr-optimus\/","title":{"rendered":"Dr. Optimus"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-soundcloud wp-block-embed-soundcloud\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Dr. Optimus by Lobster Optimus Ltd\" width=\"640\" height=\"400\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?visual=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F2251576163&#038;show_artwork=true&#038;maxheight=960&#038;maxwidth=640\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dr. Optimus<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m Dr. Optimus. I\u2019m a six foot three octopus<br>I play guitar and the bass; I wear a monocle on my face<br>I like to give big hugs with my tentacles and suction cups<br>Did I say I\u2019m an optometrist, all the things I do should be on a list<br>[I know I\u2019m impressed, who would have guessed]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have an octopus kid, who looks just like I did<br>When I was a little boy and I still played with toys<br>My wife is an octopus too; she can change from green to red to blue<br>As an octopus I swore not to tell how we camouflage or fit in a shell<br>{In a shell half his size, how does he fit inside?]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019m Dr. Optimus; I would rather hug than kiss<br>My eight arms would like to wrap around; any new friend that I\u2019ve found<br>When I get scared I shoot ink; it\u2019s not as easy as you think<br>I can shoot ink or I can run, and I will teach this to my son<br>[His son I think knows exactly where to go]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dr. Optimus I\u2019m Dr. Optimus. I\u2019m a six foot three octopusI play guitar and the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pickme"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79\/revisions\/80"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lobsteroptimus.com\/ltd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}